IT'S TOWANDATUDE TUESDAY! Meet Cheryl Grunwald

It's TOWANDATUDE TUESDAY

 Introducing Cheryl Grunwald, age fifty five. Married to husband Carl for thirty three years. Small business owners of "South Florida Speaker Repair Inc." since 1981. It's there that you will find Cheryl on weekdays running the office and the shipping end of their business. Cheryl is the Mother of two sons, Jason and Bryan and "Nanna" of four year old Grandson Zack. She's a very "hands on" Nanna, picking him up from school most days & keeping him until his parents get off work. Cheryl says that her biggest surprise about the whole "Empty Nest" syndrome most couples go through, is that they have yet to experience it ! Their home seems to have a revolving door for friends and family members who find comfort there.    

Cheryl and Carl invited Mr.Wonderful and I to their "home away from home" weekend retreat recently. It's where they go to relax and have some time-out from the hustle & bustle of their busy lives. Cheryl and I got to talk about life and about a topic very personal to her, living with Crohn's Disease.  

Crohn's Disease is a chronic inflammatory disease of any part of the gastrointestinal (GI) tract, The part most commonly affected involves the end portion of the small intestine called the ileum. The inflammation from it causes scar tissue to form in the lining of the intestine. When scar tissue builds up, the intestinal passage becomes narrow, causing things to move through slowly, resulting in pain, cramps and diarrhea. Cheryl was diagnosed with the disease on March 3,1999, after two years of battling with debilitating symptoms including high fevers, chronic diarrhea, pain and extreme weight loss. Her OB-GYN decided to do an ultrasound, revealing a large mass in her abdomen. Later a laparoscopy revealed that she had Crohn's disease. The surgeon removed 16cm of her intestine, her gallbladder, appendix and 1/3 of her bladder. All had been affected by the disease. She has been in remission for two years and takes maintenance medication to keep inflammation down.

"In the IBD (irritable bowel disease) community there is one saying we all laugh at and also hate with a passion. It's..'Gee, you don't look sick' and 'If you don't look sick, surely you can't be that sick' " Cheryl said.

Cheryl is a supporter of  Fight Like A Girl Club, and Let's Talk Crohn's and other GI Issues and belongs to a spin off support group that call themselves the "SH*T-TARTS". That last reference gives you some insight into the personality of this Towanda Gal. She has an incredible sense of humor that keeps her going strong. I asked her what her motto is ? "You Cant lay around and do nothing. You have to get up and fight like a girl!" She says that "taking care of others helps her keep her mind off of herself". 

I asked Cheryl about the future. " My Dream for the future? I'd like to be healthy enough to continue seeing America with my 'Snookums' Carl. Because being with him, and living life is what it is all about. If he was not the big PITA (pain in the ass) that he can be, some days I wouldn't get out of bed, but I do, everyday. I call Carl a PITA because he pushes me when I need it, he would never let me give up."

Right now, she "enjoys spending time with our grandson and time without a television on. Time spent talking, or (as she likes to say) 'Con-ver-sating' (having a conversation).  Anyway, most of the things that make me feel good about myself are things that do not give me a pay check."    

Cheryl's parting words to me were "NEVER GIVE UP, QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION !"

What a lovely visit and another BIG DOSE of inspiration. I hope this lady's inspiring story of TOWANDATUDE encourages you ! Thank You Cheryl !

Cheryl and husband Carl love to travel and ride their Harley Davidson Motorcycle. This picture was taken at Mt.Rushmore on a trip to Sturgis.    

Mam-maw's Girl and Miss Lillian's Garden

Gardening memories are always accompanied by the thought of the Spring I spent with a friend named Lynne in Miss Lillian's garden.

I was raised by a gardener, my Mam-maw (aka; my "other Mother") had the most beautiful yard in our little neck of the woods. All kinds of roses, borders of hedges, hibiscus, crepe myrtle in various colors..it was lovely, and I hated it. I hated it because I was the child who was made to work in it. Weeding, mowing, edging, spreading the rich, black, smelly muck (look it up if you're not from FL) that would arrive by dump truck once a year. I was made to do these things when I wanted to be in the woods, playing in my fort, surrounded by the smell of sap from the Brazilian pepper trees, the lush greenery and shady dank out there in the woods behind our house. Instead, I'd find myself out in the yard, in the hot blazing sun doing some task that made Mam-maw's gardens grow.  Why me ? Why did I have to be the one ? My cousins had a Dad and he did that stuff at their house. There wasn't one of those guys at our place, there was me and Mam-maw. Do I sound bitter ? Well, I was forever, until one day someone gave me a gift.

When I was in my early thirties and living in Pennsylvania, I was invited to go with my friend Lynne to help work in the garden of a ninety year old woman. Her name was Lillian and she was lovely. She was a retired Literature teacher at nearby Westminster College. Her house was on a shady street in the little college town of New Wilmington. The house looked plain from the front entrance, but around back were beds and beds of antique victorian-esque flowers of all kinds, Climbing Roses galore, Phlox, Hollyhocks, fruit trees, you name it, it was there. But it was out of control and it was beyond her capability to rescue it. Most perennial's from that era were self seeders and over the course of a season multiplied. Miss Lillian was also the early version of "composter", not in the sense that we now know it. This was old school style, she just chucked peach seeds or whatever veggie scraps right out the kitchen door in the direction of one of the flower beds ! Let me tell you, those beds were so rich that whatever she threw out there would start to grow, and I mean with a vengeance, there were peach saplings, bamboo (still haven't figured that one out) whatever, it was growing and thriving.

So the deal was that Lynne and I would thin out these beds and get them all tidied up and we were welcome to take home the discard pile for our own gardens. If you have ever worked with perennial's, you know you can usually chop, split and restart/plant elsewhere, multiplying your yield. We went at it full force once a week, our little ones in tow, playing in the yard while Miss Lillian in all her ninety year old loveliness sat and talked to us as we thinned the beds. It was truly one of those seasons of my life that I always look back on with such fond memories. One day, my friend came back from visiting the bathroom in Miss Lillian's house, so moved by a little list she had seen that Lillian had written. It was a "note to self" kind of thing. This lovely, scholarly woman had a reminder list of what "not to do" to combat what she thought were character flaws within herself. I will never ever forget that. Her quiet, humble demeanor, her gratefulness for all we were doing to help her. Mostly, we were struck that someone so precious was sure she needed improving upon, when we were sure she was perfect. So many lessons were learned there. Life lessons were learned in that garden.   

My friend and I took our starts home and began our own perennial beds. I learned to divide and multiply plants, soon I had a lovely little garden filled with Bamboo, Climbing Roses, Scented Phlox, Peonies, Hollyhocks, Fox Gloves, Clematis, Lily of the Valley and Day Lilly's and even Carnations. All summer long I filled the house with flowers in every vessel I could find. Every resentment I'd held onto about gardening slowly melted away as I created my gardens in Pennsylvania. Three years later, we moved to Hawaii and I left my little gardens behind. I remember crying when I put the gardens to bed at the end of that last Summer there, knowing I wouldn't be there when it all unfolded again in the Spring. There would be no need of gardening in Kona, Hawaii, the whole place WAS a garden, it was a visual overload of constant fragrance and beauty.  

Now, back in my homeland of Florida where I started my begrudged gardening experiences. I realize that those years spent in the garden with my Mam-maw taught me a lot about gardening in South Florida and about life. Sometimes good can come from an unhappy memory, by way of someone else coming into your life to refine that memory, make it more pleasant to reflect on, like my friend Lynne and Miss Lillian refined my garden memories for me. Those are the times I glean from. My grandmothers skill and gardening rules and the sweet fragrance of working in Miss Lillian's garden, her demeanor and character, all combine to make a wealth of gardening treasure for me to glean from.   

As I look out at my gardens here at our little yellow house, I see pictures of Mam-maw's yard, the citrus trees and tropical plants and little Periwinkles and the way I have outlined my beds with bricks like she always did. Then there's the Iris and the Bamboo of Miss Lillian's Victorian garden and my lush Plumeria forest surrounding the little shed, reminding me of my time in Hawaii, where they flourished. I look out the screen and am reminded of lessons on growing vegetables by my former in laws. That's when I realize that my garden is filled with vignettes of my life, and sometimes what started out to be a bad thing just might end up being your greatest treasure. If you allow it to cultivate and grow, letting go of the old and watching it blossom into something new. 

Grow and Flourish with your own fragrance, your essence of Towandatude.

**Below, some favorite memories, Miss Lillian's Iris's and my Mam-maw's happy little periwinkles, and some Plumeria, from my beloved Hawaii.**  

IT'S TOWANDATUDE TUESDAY !! Introducing Heidi Lacy Olive.

Introducing Heidi Lacy Olive. Age 30. Married to Steven Olive for four years. Her "day job" is with Starbucks. She has been employed as a Barista with the coffee purveyors for over eleven years has worked at thirteen different stores in five different states. Heidi won an essay contest a while back at her job. She was one of five employees chosen from the world wide competition. She won a trip to Costa Rica to see how the coffee biz is done start to finish.

Heidi's favorite quote: "Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, it can achieve." Napoleon Hill

When Heidi was fifteen years old her kidneys failed. A diagnosis was given that she had a rare kidney disease "M P G N -type 3" (Membranoproliferative glomerulonephritis-type3) Later that year it was found that she needed a kidney transplant. Her Father was a match and gave Heidi one of his kidneys. Two years ago, the kidney failed. Heidi is presently on two lists awaiting a donor kidney. In the meantime, she goes to dialysis three times a week, holds down her job at Starbucks and continues to pursue her music career. She is also a massage therapist and an accomplished cook who does a little catering.  

It's a beautiful day in sunny south Florida when Heidi and I sit down to talk. She has just returned from her three hour long dialysis session. She is the same curly haired blue eyed wonder that she was the first time I met her, when she was not even a year old. I am overwhelmed by her peaceful demeanor and beautiful smile. 

I asked her about her thoughts on life, these are some of the things she shared with me. "I don't waste time with frivolities, it's important to realize what's really important. There is no reason not to enjoy every minute you have here while you have it."  

She gains her strength from, "Believing that I am not alone, that I am one with God. It's not easy to go through the things I have to go through, but there is an unexplainable, supernatural peace that I don't have control over, it's always there. There is no distance or delay between us and God, our 'oneness' has no limits."

Heidi says she is kept from self pity "knowing there are other people who suffer much worse things" than her. One of her daily rituals? "Listing the things that I am thankful for, it helps me stay positive and keeps my mind off pain. Gratefulness cures many ailments!"

Her favorite pastime ? "Daydreaming with (hubby) Steven." They like to go to a favorite store, usually a book store and take pictures of places they'd like to go, people they'd like to meet or something they'd like to own. Then they hang the pictures up around their home to remind them of their dreams. Pretty cool !  

So what's on the horizon for this Towandatude filled beauty ? Heidi is a talented musician. She is currently playing a few times a month at two different venues where she lives in Ohio. Heidi recently recorded a C.D. of her music entitled "YOU WERE MADE FOR JOY" that is currently in post production.  

 In parting, Heidi shared one more thing that she wants you to know; "I used to be afraid to tell people about my experiences with God, that I would be giving someone 'false hope', but then I heard him saying, I AM hope, and I am not false, He is the only true hope."

Heidi and Steven Olive

Towandatude Tuesday

INRODUCING TOWANDATUDE TUESDAYS

Beginning tomorrow, I will be posting each Tuesday an interview with women from many different walks of life. Women who have experienced challenging circumstances and are amazing examples of TOWANDATUDE in their lives. So tune in each week and have a little read about women who've got the TUDE ! 

Rain Barrels are Gushing, Frogs are Singing and All Is Well...

This weekend was forecast to be pretty much "rain free" unlike all of the "rain filled" days we've been having for months now, but that has turned out quite differently than the weather guy predicted. Once again my rain barrels are gushing, my little potager garden is full of drowning seedlings and a choir of frogs are singing their favorite songs all around the property.

I happen to like rain. It's always given me a sense of coziness and restfulness, and an excuse for doing nothing. Like a guilt-free pass for a reading day, a chick-flick in my p.j.'s or cookie baking. There's nothing quite like a rainy day. 

Today, being given that "free pass", I am sitting on the back porch with a stack of books, the old dinosaur laptop and my CharlieBeanDog who is sound asleep next to me. As usual, I found myself in the middle of a memory about rain and my childhood that I have repeated to my children a gazillion times, and now I will share it with you..  

I have talked before about being raised by a single Mother. My Mom was cool on a bunch of goofy levels that my friends parents weren't and not so cool in ways theirs were, but sometimes she allowed me to do some pretty amazing stuff. One of them had to do with RAIN.

Even as a child I loved the rain. I always wanted to be outside in it. Of course this was crazy thinking in South Florida, the lightening strike capital of the U.S.. Somewhere along the line, I had read or seen on T.V. that when you are in a car you are grounded and therefore safe from being struck by lightening. I of course began to pitch the idea to my Mother that I should be allowed to sit in the car during rain storms, in the safety of our driveway, where I could watch the storm and be outside in it while safe from it. I am not sure what shifted in the cosmos, but one day she said "Yes". In actuality, it was probably to get me off her back for a while. It would be like sending me to another room and closing the door, instead of kids pent up inside on a rainy day. BRILLIANT !

Well, with my pillow, a book & blanket off I went to my safe-house to watch the storm roll in. It was a gift I have never forgotten. I spent that amount of time hearing the rain beating against the metal roof of the car, watched the lightening flash and eventually fell sound asleep to the glory of the whole experience.  Pretty exciting stuff for an elementary school kid. I think that took a little Towandatude on both our parts, Thanks Mom !

Now, as I sit on our screened porch with the thunder rolling, and rain pouring down, it would seem to me that this is the grown up version of sitting in Mom's Pontiac Catalina. What a treat this is and I am so thankful for it. Wherever you find yourself this weekend in whatever weather, conjure up a happy memory and enjoy !

Many Blessings, TowandaGal

A Heart Overwhelmed

I have an affliction. It's a good one I think. I am not sure what to call it or why I have it. Maybe you have it too. I've caught a glimpse of it from time to time in conversation with other ladies over the years.  

Sometimes, My heart hurts, and it's a good hurt. It's a deep "moved" feeling. Ya know, like when you hear someone say "I was deeply moved" ? It will be a seemingly insignificant thing that prompts it. Yesterday it was the sound of my Harmonic Wind Chimes blowing in the gentle breeze as I gazed out at the beauty of the deep magenta colored Cosmos growing in the garden. I suddenly was overwhelmed by that moment. Overcome with gratefulness and wonder. And then it was there, like a deep ache of emotion for this moment. You find yourself wondering, does anyone else see this ? Hey, can you hear that ?  

I wonder about the catch phrase of our day "be present in the moment". Is that what this is ? Or, is it my lack of hormones ? Or, is it what the scriptures call "A heart of thanksgiving"? Remembering back to the phrases of my youth like, "Stop and smell the roses". Whatever the label, whatever it is, I am enjoying it.  

Today, take a small space of time and allow yourself to really "drink in" a moment. A child's laughter, a garden, the sound of water, a beautiful painting. Beauty is all around us. It's delicious!!  Be "present" to be "moved deeply" as you "stop and smell the roses"  with a "thankful heart" and lots of "TOWANDATUDE!"

*The pictures below were taken during and incandescent moment with my daughter Naomi, when we saw the "Water Lilies" exhibit at the MOMA together. Who knew that painting was SO HUGE !   I will treasure that moment of wonder forever.

You never know...(the underwear rule and "slacking")

"Don't wear clothes with holes in them or safety pins, what if you were in an accident?"  AND "Always look your best, you never know who you might meet!" Growing up I was always guided by these lines. Most ladies my age were. They were a sort of "check-list" before you left the house. These are among the block building neurotic phrases of my childhood. I had heard these things all my life and they became embedded somewhere in the recesses of my brain, so much so that once when I was in a bad car accident, as the E.M.T. person was removing my shoe, all I could think of was "The one time I leave the house with a hole in my sock, look what happens !" AND, yes of course I said it out loud to the E.M.T. ! It was probably the only laugh she had on a call that day.   

The world seems to be changing though. Yesterday I ran out of the house in my work out clothes to the local Walmart across the way. My neurosis ringing in my ears about how badly I was dressed....I got out of the car and as I started across the parking lot, a woman not much younger than me, exited her car. She was wearing a cami style tank top and pajama bottoms with flip flops. Wow. Here I was feeling so under dressed for my quick run into the store.  

I guess I haven't gotten the memo. You know, the one that must have gone out while I was in a time warp somewhere. The memo that said it's okay to wear your bra under any style shirt with your straps showing, (did strapless bra's go out of style ?) The same memo must have also said, you no longer have to get dressed when you get out of bed before leaving the house. I don't know about you, but I am confused. I was a teen in the hippie era, I've sported some pretty edgy jean shorts and halter tops with peace sign patches in my day. But this seems to be something different, and I am not sure what it is ? It just isn't anything. I have a daughter that wears blue hair, tattoo's and a mohawk hair-do on occasion. But she does it with style and takes great care in it, she OWNS it ! She has since she was fifteen.

I guess that's what this new "slacking" (I will now call it) is, it just isn't anything. It's not creative, there's no pride in p.j.'s and slippers at the mall. Is that really going to be someone's "signature look" ? My Mam-Maw and Audrey Hepburn would certainly be shocked at these latest trends.    

In closing, I just want to say, dress with your own special style, whatever that is. That is your own signature stamp that you go out into the world with, (Hopefully, without any holes or safety pins, ya know, "just in case"). Whatever the style, whatever the hair color, to color or not to color, whatever, It's yours, OWN IT, No "slacking". Make a mark with your signature on the world today. Your own TOWANDATUDE. Remember what Mam-Maw said, "You just never know who you might meet." 

Live the Life You Have...

YOU HAVE TO GO THE WAY YOUR BLOOD BEATS. IF You don't live the only life you have, You won't live some other life, You won't live any life at all. 

                                                                 *James Baldwin

Enjoying it my way. 

I Was Born By the Sea..

I was born by the sea and have noticed 

that all the great events of my life

have taken place by the sea.  

My first idea of movement, of the dance,  

certainly came from the rhythms of the waves. 

Isadora Duncan

Martha had the''TUDE"

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."

Martha Washington  

The Things They Leave Behind...Part Two:Moving Day

Last Month I wrote a little story about ''The Things Our Kids Leave Behind". I began the story by telling you about the large Baby Grand Piano that sits in my tiny living room. 

Today I said goodbye to my old friend. That piano's been through a lot over the years, it has been transported from Pennsylvania to Florida, to a music store, to our townhouse, then to our new house in another county. Now, that thing I'd hoped that would someday happen, happened this morning. The piano is on a truck and moving to my son's home. He loves it so much and now he'll be able to play it every day, just like when he still lived at home.

Last night I couldn't get a little memory picture out of my mind. It was the memory of my son riding on his spring horse with his sisters taking turns sitting at the piano playing his favorite song for him, so he could ride to it. The song was one we all know, but don't know the name of, my kids called it "the Indian song". He would beg his sisters to "play the Indian song" and he'd jump on that spring horse and ride so hard that it would scoot across the floor, we'd all laugh and they'd do it all over again. Needless to say, at one o'clock this morning, I was having one of those "empty nest" moments, tears running into my ears as I played the scene over again, in my minds eye. 

This morning when I opened the door to Mike the piano mover I said, "Hello" and burst into tears. What a sap I am. I apologized to Mike and got a hold of myself and we got down to the business of getting this beast off to it's new home. I had a lovely visit with Mike and his assistant. They were so sweet to let me take pictures of them doing their job. I told them I would be using them for my Blog which sparked conversation about "What is TOWANDATUDE ?"  after explaining it to them, I apologized for not displaying much TOWANDATUDE crying like a baby earlier. Mike replied; "But isn't crying showing strength ? You're strong enough to show how you really feel, right ?" Wow, out of the mouth's of young men. I'll take that and Thank You for saying it ! 

As the guys walked down the driveway to get into the truck, Mike turned back to me, threw his fist up in the air and yelled out "TOWANDATUDE !!" I loved that, I thought to myself, "How did he know that's what me and my girlfriends do ?" (Small Miracles ARE everywhere).  

So, I am back in the house, doing what I love, rearranging the furniture (there's so much space, wow) and sharing with you. AND, Thanks to Mike's reminder, I'm doing it with a whole lot of TOWANDATUDE ! 

Farewell old friend !

Small Miracles

MIRACLE -  an incandescent amazing event or moment, BIG or small. 

There are little miracles happening all around us. Delightful little pleasures that if I take time to stop and notice them will bring a smile to my face. Sometimes I am so caught up in taking care of the BIG stuff that I neglect the little bits of wonderfulness all around me.   I must remember to stop and look for the small miracles.

*  here are a few small pleasures that brought delight to me in my own backyard !

A little Grand-buddy ! Greatest Miracle of all !

Don't give up on your dreams

Serene -  adj. marked by or suggestive of utter calm and unruffled repose or quietude. unruffled, undisturbed.

Serenity -noun  the quality or state of being serene.

Serein- a very fine rain falling from a clear sky just after sunset. 

When going through a tough time in my life and experiencing a complete life "overhaul" many years ago, my future was uncertain. Where would we live ? What would I do to support myself ? Even though the future was uncertain, the canvas was wide open for painting the picture of what I would like my life to look like someday. I dreamed a lot about it, I wrote in my journals about it. I cut out pictures of what I'd like a home to look like and pasted them in a book. I kept those dreams close to my heart.

The words-definitions opening this post are written in those journals over and over.  They helped me to feel peaceful when I was alone and struggling. I dreamed of someone to love and to be loved in return, a yellow house and a place where I could garden, a place of serenity.

Don't give up on your dreams, hold fast to them, keep dreaming, envisioning your future, write about them, pray about them, hold them close to your heart. Above all Never, Ever, Give Up On Your Dreams. 

*below is a picture of me & Mr,Wonderful in front of what would become our little yellow dream house. 

Me and Mr. Wonderful, in front of what would become our little yellow dream house.

Hope

HOPE is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, 

And sings the tune--without the words, 

And never stops at all...

Emily Dickinson 

Whatever is Good...

Whatever is True, whatever is Worthy of Reverence and is Honorable and Seemly, whatever is Just, whatever is Pure, whatever is Lovely and Lovable, whatever is Kind and Winsome and Gracious, if there is Anything Worthy of Praise, Think On and Weigh and Take Account of These Things, Fix your Mind On Them. *Philippians 4:8

If I could just begin each day with this as my creed, think how lovely each day would be when viewing the world, the potential for beauty in each day and my part in it. A day of beauty and peace filled with Towandatude. My quest continues.

Photo taken by Mr.Wonderful on our road trip to Maine.  

Towanda-Girls

What is it that I see in women that makes me say they have Towandatude ?  It's a little something that's not always evident on the outside, but just get to know them and you will feel it, know it and be inspired by it. It's an attitude for sure, but more than that, it's a virtue. When you talk to women that posses it, you are left feeling inspired by just being in their company. Every woman has a story. Whether it's your childhood story or your adult story, it's the story that makes YOU unique. YOUR story is filled with nuances uniquely your own. Things that shaped and formed you into the person you have become. Those events and challenges that we face can shape us as VICTIM OR VICTOR. 

My girlfriend Belinda's Mom is about to turn ninety six. She's a very southern lady filled with Towandatude. One of my favorite sayings of hers is; "YOU'VE GOT THE SAME DRAWERS TO GET GLAD IN" I hear Miss Adez (pronounced A-Deez) say that in my head when i start to feel sorry for myself !  

It's true, no matter what life throws at us, we make the choice of how we will respond. I have known women with stories that range from domestic abuse to cancer. Maybe your suffering was silent, depression and anxiety are often suffered in secret. Some women have had to face their children having a serious illness, that's a tough challenge to face.

I was so taken this past spring by the story of a gal I've known for many years. Her family lost their home and all their keepsakes to a fire. I had breakfast with her a short time after the fire. She told us about the experience and as she spoke I heard the same brave heart that had faced breast cancer years before, and then launched her own dream business. What an inspiring woman you are Ellen.   

We are surrounded by a world of amazing women filled with Towandatude ! We all have stories of overcoming adversity and changing up our lives to fit our circumstances. Be inspired today by your own story. Take some time to be inspired by someone else's story. And, if you are feeling down, Always Remember what Miss Adez says;  "YOU'VE GOT THE SAME DRAWERS TO GET GLAD IN !"   

A group of Towandatude filled ladies. That's our friend Ellen on the end in pink.

You Just Might Make A Friend Today

We never know when we leave home in the morning who we will encounter or how our lives will touch someone else. Something as simple as your smile, your "hello" or brief conversation may be the small offering someone else needs this very day. 

 In 1974 I was taking classes part time and nearing graduation from High School. I took a part time job at the local mall across town. I did not drive, so I caught the bus every day at the corner stop. One morning on the bus, a tall thin woman a little older than me approached me and ask if she could sit with me. She had dark brown hair and wore a very stylish T-shirt dress and sandals that were popular at that time. She was so pleasant and outgoing, immediately striking up a conversation, saying that she had seen me at a local youth ministry. It turned out that she and her husband worked there. Her name was Candy.

A life long friendship was born that day, all because she took the time to make her way across the isle of that public bus to talk to me, a stranger. A foundation of friendship was cast and forty one years later, we are still best friends today. We have raised our children together, gone through many personal life changing trials together and I can honestly say, I can't imagine what my life would be today without her. Again, all because she took the time to greet me, to know me.   

I was part of a non-denominational mercy missions organization several years ago. One thing that always stuck in my heart that I learned in my time there, was the importance of a persons name. Much of our identity is married to our name. In many cultures your family name means everything. It speaks a lot to someone when you remember their name. It doesn't take much to read the names of the cashiers and bag girls /guys at my local supermarket, I'm surprised at my (usual forgetful) self that after a couple of times, I remember them by heart from our conversations over groceries. One of the things I noticed about my husband when we were dating, was that he always took the time to ask waiters their names, remembering them and engaging them in conversation. I liked that about him.

I try to look people in the eye and say their name. When they ask me how I am, I ask   them back and take a minute to listen to their reply. I try to remember my friend's example that it only takes a second to be kind, to make someone feel special.You could be like my friend on the bus and who knows, you just might make a friend today.  

Candy and her grateful friend, yours truly. 

Let's Start a Revolution, A Ladies Reformation !

It all started back in Junior High

This Ugly Thing with critical eyes  

That thing that's always in the back of your mind 

Wondering, "What fault in my appearance will another girl find  

to pick me apart ?"  

So right from the start you began your day defeated 

You left your house and competed 

to be someone you hoped would be accepted 

WHAT IF WE START A REVOLUTION, START IT THIS VERY DAY !  

When we see a gal whose roots have gone gray or whose waist has gone away 

INSTEAD    of the usual "Bless her heart"

lets look beyond appearance and say;

"She has many qualities to celebrate, so I will not berate my fellow Gal Pal, no, not for one minute !" 

I WILL LOOK BEYOND HER GRAYING LOCKS AND FADING BEAUTY 

TO SEE A NEW MAGNIFICENCE THAT IS UNIQUELY HER OWN         

I vow to CELEBRATE HER LIFE,

and all the gifts that are specific only to her being 

I will look at her true beauty  without envy

and know her for who she truly is 

Beyond her taste in clothes, the color of her hair, 

THERE IS A STORY OF ANOTHER WOMAN'S LIFE UNDER THERE. 

So, I will leave home today with new eyes to see, 

THIS REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH YOU AND ME !

My room

 I read a short story the other day by Southern born and bred Author Rick Bragg. His writings are favorites of mine and I look forward to reading them each month on the last page of Southern Living Magazine. Last month his story was entitled "Stillness". He talked about lying in bed at night as a child and hearing the train whistle in the distance. This line painted such a vivid picture of a memory from my own childhood that I have never forgotten.

I grew up in a very tiny little two bedroom cottage that was painted pink. I shared a small bedroom with my baby brother at the back side of the house. It contained two twin beds, a dresser and not much space to walk around. One window at the head of the bed faced east and the window at the foot end faced north. At night I could hear the train whistle and even the rumble of the train on the tracks. I would lie awake wondering where it was going and who was on it. I was also consumed by thoughts of what was east of those tracks. It was another world. There were other parts of town beyond those tracks, neighborhoods that seemed light years away, where different sorts of people lived lives in fancy neighborhoods. Beyond those neighborhoods a bridge took you across a body of water and on to the island of Palm Beach where very wealthy people lived extremely different lives. There were mansions built on the ocean there and back then people like the Kennedy's and the Post's lived in them.   

Outside the north window at the foot of my bed was a huge mango tree, beyond that a lush orange tree. Giant elephant ears grew in that very shady area, it was sort of rain forest like. There was a faucet back there to connect the hose to. It had a slow leak and my Mam-ma had an old metal bucket under it. I could hear the tiny plunk, plunk as the drops hit the water. When it rained I loved to lie on my bed with my head at the foot and watch the rain in that section of the yard. The rain hit the clam shell metal awnings that shaded the windows, and fell on the elephant ears trickling down into the ferns and periwinkles planted there. I loved the sound of it and there was nothing better than lying there listening to it and writing sappy poetry or reading a  book. A glorious shelter that was so comforting. 

The opposite ends of the bed and the windows placed there looked out onto a view of what my life would become. Out that east window I would meet people on the other side of those tracks as I entered my teenage years. I met Mr. Wonderful over there when we were fourteen. Little did I know that he would become Mr.Wonderful thirty five years later. In my late thirties I traveled by train across Thailand with my kids sleeping in births as the little train made it's way through villages and lush forests. In my forties I moved back home and ended up watching over some of those houses over on the Island while supporting my little family. Who knew that little girl dreaming inside that east facing window would grow up and do those things ?

Everywhere I lived in my adult life I have attempted to re-create the vision, the feeling I felt looking out that North window. The little rain forest, right down to the elephant ears and happy little periwinkle flowers. You will see them all where I live now. I feel that serenity as I look out of the screen porch while listening to the rain as I write these words today. Hopefully, not too sappy.

**Thank you Rick Bragg for the memory prompt. 

A Little List of Some Super Short Inspiring Reading

Here's a little list of some books that I have found inspirational in the quest for Towandatude in my life.  I love to read and always have a novel going. I have listed some tiny books here though that are quick and inspiring. Sometimes it's hard to make time for a big book, so these are weekend do-able.

The WAR of ART by author Steven Pressfield "BREAK THROUGH THE BLOCKS AND WIN YOUR CREATIVE BATTLES" This little book has been so inspiring to me. He found me out ! At only 165 pages and tiny little to the point chapters, it's a quick weekend read.

The Art Of Growing Up by author Veronique Vienne "SIMPLE WAYS TO BE YOURSELF AT LAST"  I love this book. The beautiful photography by Jeanne Lipsey, the author's daughter is so soothing, while the read is gently inspiring. Another shorty at 93 pages. It's one that I have read and re-read many times. I know you are going to love it. **Other books by this author include, The Art of Imperfection & The Art of Doing Nothing. 

THE PULL OF THE MOON by author Elizabeth Berg. This book is a short novel just 216 pages. If you are a mid-life lady (that's my nice way to say peri or post menopausal) this book will resonate with you. OR if you have a Mom whose new quirkiness you just can't figure out, you may gain some understanding from this read. I felt like someone had read my thoughts and placed them between the pages.

MEDITATIONS FOR WOMEN WHO DO TOO MUCH by Anne Wilson Schaef  "Daily meditations to help women break the cycle of doing too much-for workaholics, rushaholics, and careaholic's" There's some pretty amazing stuff in this little book. Broken down into daily thought provoking little bits. I try to read one of these bits each day. It's a true gem you will love. Give yourself permission to be You.  

 Jesus Calling by Sarah Young "Devotions for Every Day of the Year"  Part of my morning devotional time is also spent reading a page a day in this inspirational book. There is a passage for each day of the year and scripture verses to look up. It inspires me in my faith.

 AND, JUST FOR FUN... A Southern Belle Primer- or why-Princess Margaret will never be a Kappa Kappa Gamma by Marilyn Schwartz. It's kind of silly but there are things in this book that I grew up with having been raised by Southern ladies, it's good to laugh at yourself.

Enjoy YOUR weekend ! 

Little t iny Reads, BIG Inspiration.