The Things They Leave Behind...

There is a LARGE Baby Grand Piano sitting in my small living room. Bookshelves filled with books for kids sized infant to adulthood are in our guest room and a custom made doll house waits for a child's small hands to come back and play. These are the things that have been left behind from a childhood. They were actually left in other houses that we lived in over the years. I've just kept lugging them with me, the faithful 'keeper of the stuff' they left behind, wherever I've moved to, just in case. In case of what ? you might ask me. Oh, just in case they might want them when they have a home, or maybe they might want them for their children someday. The truth is, it's our history, and I am a keeper of history. A history I cannot release my grip on. It was an era of the most favorite time of my life. 

I have friends whose homes I visit and I see their Mommy history there. A G.I.JOE action figure dangles from the chain to a light over my friends dining table. Her son is now in his twenties, but G.I. Joe remains, as though he just climbed up there yesterday. Just last week, two separate friends told me that they have all of their kids things in storage bins in their sheds. Boxes, books, child sized chairs, toddler toys, self portraits, the list is endless, but what you can't see is what we see when we look at those things. The small boy who climbed the dining room chair to affix his army man to that light fixture. A toddler boy who carried that stack of  field guides aka; "bug books" under his chubby little arm everywhere he went. A wild haired little brunette who sat in front of her custom made doll house, playing with her tiny mouse family who lived in there. A little blonde haired wonder who sat in that wee chair and made me pictures by the hour at that tiny table. These are our Mommy memories, and sometimes it's hard to let go of the physical manifestations of them. Maybe we didn't want it to end. So don't be too hard on us "keepers of the stuff".

Who knows ?  Maybe my son will need that piano some day.  

This 'left behind' item was from my son's   teenage years. I'm not sure I want to know the story behind it. It guards the little shed out back.

Eradicate the Ferns / Little Foxes

One of the many faults that I posses is being an over thinker. I will over analyze something into the ground. It's horrible and the time that I seem to be most susceptible to this malady is around three a.m.. Yes, that's A.M. ! Now that sleeping through the night is a semi-regular occurrence, my mind takes off on flights of over analyzing EVERYTHING ! It seems that nightmares are better than this. I know that I am not alone in my goofiness. We all do it. Most folks just don't talk about it, then there's me, who puts it out there for discussion.  

One morning last week I was reading in my little morning devotional a scripture verse that means a lot to me. It's from the Song of Solomon, "Catch the little foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards while the fruit is on the vine...". I have always heard this interpreted as a metaphor for those little things that distract us in life, the ugly things, the gossip, hearsay, envy and petty grievances, "foxes" that "spoil the fruit" of a good life. Whether the thoughts are real or perceived, we do it, it's part of being a human being. 

Today, I set out on a quest to trim palm trees at the entryway to our home. I planted ferns underneath the palms last year, those ferns have since taken hold and are setting out to take over the world. I have never seen so many ferns in one spot. As I started my quest to take back the front of the house, I began to yank those ferns out by the fist full. There were piles of ferns everywhere. I started thinking, "these ferns are like the 'little foxes' in my life, if I give them an inch they will take me over".

Thinking back to my three a.m. appointment with those "little foxes" last night, I began to realize how important it is for us to not let the "ferns" the "little foxes" take hold in our mind and emotions. Keeping a clear path for goodness to flow through us. I am no good to anyone when my mental "garden" is filled with overgrowth of petty grievances. I must daily set out on a quest to "catch the little foxes" and "eradicate the ferns", so that this journey, this brief existence I have here will be filled with the sweet blossoms of life. And that life, is the life I hope to live.

The Fern Eradication, a Life Long Quest ! 

Essential Items For Your Week.

TOWANDATUDE- Impassioned, Vivacious, Effervescent Spirit. Exhibited by Tenacious, Powerful Women. Who, having overcome adversity, have AWAKENED ! Possessing Strength & Independence. Eager to make their way in the world and EXUBERANTLY PURSUE THEIR DREAMS ! 

Some essential wardrobe items for your week.  

**Gloves fashioned by Noelle Lacy Kujala, Crown by Hannah Ruthie of LOST TRADER ART** 

Yoga Pants Sunday

Yes, it's Yoga Pants Sunday, and to top it all off it's a rainy Sunday, MY FAVORITE kind of day ! When I was a single Mom, my son often spent his Sunday's at his Dad's house. Sunday was the day that I hung out at home (usually) in my old P.J.'s and cleaned the house. Sometimes I'd watch a movie or read a book after my chores were completed. It was glorious, fashion free, hair-do free, and make up free. Free to be alone with me. 

Mr. Wonderful owned a Harley when we got married. So Sunday's were usually spent riding around on the back of the motorcycle. A while back we sold the bike and purchased our goofy 1974 V.W. "THING". If you don't remember what that is, there are pictures of our "grape" colored THING in my Gallery. We often go for a drive in it on Sunday's now when the weather is nice. But Mr.Wonderful has started to come around to my way of thinking when it's super hot outside. He hangs out in a T-shirt and shorts and watches golf or reads a book. Conformity happens after a few years of marriage !  

So today is a cozy day in Florida, overcast and rainy. I have donned my favorite Yoga pants (they have taken the place of all day P.J.'s) and we are going to watch something on  Netflix and snack. This is the kind of day I call a 'Yoga Pants kind of day'. Embrace your inner slug and enjoy your Sunday !  

Mr Wonderful and me on a Sunday drive in the THING.

It's Friday. I'm hoping to hear from You. Today's Post, Company's Coming !

Good Morning, I am up and at'em super early this morning. The vacuum cleaner buzzing, sweet tea brewing, got the ironing board up and my spray starch out, there's yummy smells coming from the oven. I'm on a deadline. Why ? Company's coming that's why !  

My friend Marci arrives later today. It will only be a short visit, but any visit with a girlfriend is good. I want to give you a quick background story here... 

My parents marriage ended when I was seven. We (mom, brother  & me) moved back to our family in Floida. I entered the first grade late in the school year, where I was placed in a classroom of strangers that had four month's of classroom bonding under their belt. My new teacher sat me next to a sweet, quiet, blonde haired girl named Marci. That's where our friendship began. If opposites attract, this union was a sure hit. Quiet and shy blonde meets talkative, wild haired brunette. As they say, the rest is history. Our history. The history of an early childhood spent with a friend. She was the friend that I walked to school with, traded clothes with and played after school with. We did goofy stuff like saving our money and buying matching outfits. Our parents even took us on each other's family vacations. Heck, I can still tell you her childhood address and phone number !   

Today that friend is coming back home for a brief visit. I think we all have one of those girlfriends from childhood. I was wondering about you ? Do you still keep in touch with an old friend ? Will you send me a post and tell me about a long time best girlfriend in your life, here or on the Facebook page ? Hey, send a picture too !  I'll be waiting to read about you and your friend. Meanwhile, it's back to cleaning ! Have a great Friday ! 

Marci, Me and my daughter on a trip to see the Rockettes for my Birthday.

Whatever You Dream You Can Do...

"Whatever YOU CAN DO or DREAM YOU CAN, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it !"  -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I have always loved this quote. For many years I had a little Mary Englebreit drawing with this quote on it taped to my bathroom mirror. I kept dreaming, but rarely did I "begin it".  

All my life I have written things. Stories, poetry, letters, grocery lists, two half finished children's books etc... I have poetry I wrote in childhood, in school or in the closet. Some was dark teenage romancesque. A bookshelf holds many years worth of journals and dust. Mostly with any of the things I was just "sort of" skilled at, I did nothing.

When I was blessed with three incredibly artistic children, I was determined that they would not fall into my footsteps. I quickly learned that you cannot fight someone else's blockages for them. Thankfully, over the years they have fought for themselves and won, creating amazing beauty. 

Recently I have been reading a book entitled "The War of Art". The Author's name is Steven Pressfield. In his short little book, he talks about this lack of follow through. He names it "RESISTANCE". I am a lover of resistance. I'll follow any path you place before me rather than finish a dream. Just call me when I'm writing, I'll answer ! That's another way to say I'm a self sabotager. ( I know spell check, I know ! ) Why create today what I can put off for another year ?  

I know that many of you are just like me. You have secret dreams, visions of things you'd love to create, maybe it's a painting, or maybe it's a wall in your home. Maybe you'd like to garden, but have no yard ? Make some planter gardens. DO one teeny tiny little thing. It will open the path for your creativity to shine through. We're all just waiting to see your beauty shine ! 

So, muster up some TOWANDATUDE and remember what Mr. Goethe said; "WHATEVER YOU CAN DO OR DREAM YOU CAN, BEGIN IT. BOLDNESS HAS GENIUS, POWER AND MAGIC IN IT" and YOU ARE MAGICAL ! In all the world there is NO ONE quite like YOU. Glorious, Magnificent YOU.

A little planter from a while back

You lie, your feet stink and your mother's in the bathtub ! Just one of those lines from Mom..Happy Birthday Momma Janie !

 I come from a long line of Southern Women filled with Towandatude. There was my Mam-ma, my Aunt Mildred and my Momma Jane. There are many versions of  us Towanda filled females. You may not see it in yourself, but those around you do. My Momma Jane is one of those gals, who would never see herself that way, but I do. I see it in her, I have lived it with her. You see, Towandatude isn't about being a bad a** you know what, it's about strength, courage and dignity to carry on no matter what you have to endure. My Mom is that example to me.

Today is my Mom's Birthday and in honor of her and her example to me over the years, I honor her today with this post. It's a little something I do called alphabet affirmation. 

 J is for Jesus, You love Him and raised us with this example. You are full of his Love, and a shining example of your faith.

A is for affection. We are one huggie, kissie,  hand holding affectionate family. It's all because of your affectionate example. 

N is for NEVER being a "mean girl". You lead us by your example of  kindness, thoughtfulness and sweetness and your Towandatude. Although I may not have always followed your example, (like the time I threw that pork chop at your date) I aspire to live that example.

 E is for example of endurance. The example of endurance that you have displayed throughout your life gives me courage to carry on. 

The one thing that is missing here is hilarity. Momma Jane, ("Janie" or "O.J." as she is known to her friends and family) is funny. We grew up with LOTS of silliness in our house, that tradition of goofiness  continues to her Grandchildren. "A joyful heart is a good medicine" as the scripture says, is an understatement in her character. 

Happy Birthday to my beautiful example of Love, Momma Jane. 

Momma Jane with her Great Grandsons on a recent camping adventure.  

The Towandatude Queen and her tude-hopeful daughter, 1958.

YIKES! It's Really A Jungle Out There

Aaahhh..The tranquil beauty of my garden..fountains gurgling, butterflies flitting, birdies singing. The sound of the harmonic wind chimes and bamboo singing soothingly as the breeze gently blows. Birdies flopping around in the bird bath's, fragrant jasmine...**cue the sound of brakes squealing...   

DO NOT BE FOOLED MY FRIEND !  It's all a facade, It's really a jungle out there !

See that lavender bush ? I was finally able to grow one. A miracle in this region. Look closer, there's a wasp nest in there. Thus, the reason my pinky finger looks like a sausage link presently. 

There's my nemesis, MR.SQUIRREL. He daily empties my feeders and regularly takes them apart. Sam Squirrel ( well of course I have named him ) loves to dig in my hanging orchids, what he's after I don't know. I greet him with my MIME RIFLE, *(mime rifle-no longer operating bee-bee gun)  I am not sure why, but he always runs away.

Oh, and there's the GIANT POISON BUFO TOAD (bufo marinus)  that almost took out my Charlie Boy a while back. A midnight run to the Animal E.R. and $300.00 later, Charlie pulled through. 

A few weeks ago as my daughter exited our front door, she was greeted by a crazy RACCOON, just hangin' around on the front porch. It may have been ROCKY'S wife. (remember Rocky Raccoon in the back yard in an earlier post?) 

And last but not least, MOLES IN THE SWIMMING POOL. Yes friends, that's right, they swim ! Funny, I never thought of them as aquatic animals. Turns out those digging paws double as flippers if one desires a little dip in the pool. Who knew ?  

Ahhhh..yes, the tranquil garden, so beautiful and serene. Perhaps I'll just enjoy the beauty from the screen porch, while I muster up some TOWANDATUDE to get back out there ! Mr. Wonderful, bring me my Mime Rifle...

Percy, our resident PAINTED BUNTING. He and his wife Penny show up every year.

The Secret Place

Do You have a secret place ? A location that you retreat to, to be alone with YOU. Sometimes it's not so much the location as it is the isolation.  When my children were young, my secret place was at the little table in front of the window in our kitchen. Almost every day at nap time you could find me there. I would brew myself a lovely cup of tea, dole out one of my hidden "for mommy only" Mint Milano cookies, and read or write. For a glorious half hour or so, this was my time alone. Time to re-group, re-charge and preserve my sanity. 

Years later, when I was going through a particularly rough time in my life, my step Father approached me with a question. He asked me where my favorite place to go was and what was my favorite thing to do that would make me feel happy ? Think about it, he said, and do it, make time for you. I gave it some thought and carved out time a couple of times a week to make a late afternoon trip after work, with my son and one of his friends to go and sit at the beach. Mostly I just sat there watching the waves, listening to the sounds. Later I began to write or draw. I started to feel like I could sort through things and carry on with my future.

Now, as  you know from earlier posts, my favorite no secret-secret place is on my screen porch. I am always accompanied by my Charlie Boy (the 14 yr.old killer cockapoo) and The Dinosaur (my 8 yr.old laptop). I try and make it out there really early in the morning for a little time of devotions and writing. I have to say it's an integral part of my day.

These quiet golden times are a place where you meet YOU. It's okay to be selfish about them. It's your special time. It's Your date with the beauty of your very own self. To listen to your thoughts and to dream. Or maybe just read someone else's thoughts and get inspired. It's a great place to dream big dreams of what you might do.. The possibilities are endlessly filled with your very own Towandatude

 Go ahead, take some time and   make some time just for you.

Well, She does have nice teeth...

When I was growing up my Mom & Mam-Ma (southern for live-in grandma)  always said emphatically, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say ANYTHING AT ALL." Well to be honest, this advice went down the tubes the minute I moved out of the house. We all decide some where in our heads that it's okay to dish with our best girlfriend or a family member, "they won't tell anyone else." Famous last words.

Over the years my feelings on this topic have waxed and waned, mostly I've always admired others who refused to dish. My favorite example of Non-Negativity is always my friend Vicki. If you called her and recounted something ugly that someone had just said to you, she would deflect negativity with an "Oh, she's probably just having a bad day, I'm sure she didn't mean that." I once heard a friend say to someone when they were expressing feeling disliked by another person, "What makes you think you're so dang important that it's all about you ?" Pheweee! That's a bomb and a half but one hundred percent food for thought.

FAST FORWARD as life fleets by me faster than a bullet speeding to age sixty, I have come to some hard realizations. One, is that the things you will hear people say about our friend Vicki is that she was sweet, giving and she always deflected negativity. Yes, she's gone from us now. Which brings me to the next thought. TWO, Life is Fleeting and Junior High is Over. What do I want to be said of me when I am gone ? What will be my legacy ? Will it be Sweet or Junior High Caddie ? And Three, I have absolutely no idea what is truly going on behind the scenes in someone else's life. Because of that, I want to choose to think that whatever is going on that made someone behave in a less than pleasant fashion has nothing to do with me at all. Therefore I won't take it personally, I'm really not that important. 

OKAY, that was a bunch of super heavy duty stuff. So, I'll end on a funny note. When my Mom and I are feeling that feeling of the need to dish, but wanting to be sweet instead. We dig deep into the Mam-Ma Archives remembering the instruction of "If you can't say something nice.." ( I hope you read that in your best southern voice). We look at each other and say, "Well, she does have nice teeth !"  

Vicki on the right and her best friend Lynne. 

These are a few of my favorite things...Send me yours.

When I woke up this morning, I felt the smoothness of the sheets around my feet and the softness of my favorite feather pillow. I thought back to a time spent in a third world country when I was afraid of the bed I was sleeping in and what little critters were living in the mattress. I have never taken my bed or sheets for granted since then. The thought came to me of just how little it takes to make us humans happy. I began my monthly I am thankful for.. list, and wondered about others "lists" ? What about you ? What are those "simple pleasures" that add loveliness to your life ? Send me your list. Come up with at least five, okay ? Waiting to hear from you. 

Here's my top ten list from this morning. 

1. The feeling of my bare feet on the wood floor. 

2. My big ugly white squishy terrycloth robe. 

3. Babies toes. (they look like little peas) 

4. The smell of a new book. 

5. Lingering at the beach in the late afternoon and staying until the sun sets. 

6. A cold glass bottle of Coke sipped through a straw. (this goes nicely with #5 & salt and vinegar chips !)   

7. Ironing with a new can of Spray Starch. 

8. The sound of rain outside my window and lying down with a book to enjoy it. 

9. Lingering at the dinner table on my porch with company, candlelight and conversation.

10. My old doggy lying next to my thigh as I sit and write in the morning. 

There ya go. That's mine. Send me yours. You can post here on the comment section following this post-OR- go to the Towandatude.com FACEBOOK PAGE & add your list there. Can't wait to read your list of happy things !  

Your HUG, Your Free Gift.

Eyebrows go up

BRIGHT EYES

Lips pull back into A SMILE

ILLUMINATING your face

Elbows raised

Arms EMBRACE

Hand pats

Forearms SQUEEZE

Your HUG

The BEST Free Gift You'll Give Today

Here's the picture that didn't make it in...

MY GIRL dancing in the kitchen.

MY GIRL

It's been a whirlwind of  excitement around here the last seven days. My daughter and her boyfriend surprised everyone by flying in for a visit. There's been a 60th Birthday, Fireworks, a celebration of Life party, more fireworks, two beach parties, a marriage  proposal, a lot of happy tears and a ton of food that I never should have ingested. It's been a blast !

Tonight my sweet girl and her husband-to-be are on an airplane. The will fly back to their home in Brooklyn, leaving us all wondering why can't they just move back here where they belong. You see, we all believe that they belong to us. All of their fun and magic that they bring every time they come to town, it seems so quiet after they go.

So, I place the clean towels back in the cabinet. I put clean sheets on the bed where they slept. I pick up one of her little rubber bands she uses in her hair (where does she get those tiny things?) I feel the softness of her still baby-like cheeks when I kissed her goodbye. I count the days until November when they will return, with the magic, with her polka-dot sunny glasses and the part of my heart that she takes with her every time she says "Bye Moomer". 

"Low E = HIGH D"

 I have a little problem at this stage of my life. It seems with my loss of Estrogen I have also lost my ability to focus on one thing at a time. It's funny how organized and streamlined my life was when I had three kids at home, plus two dogs and a cat. Soccer, Piano lessons and Dance Classes. Car pool, Library Volunteer & Lunch Mom. Housekeeping, laundry, gardening and canning. How did I do all  that ? Juggling six balls in the air at any given time. Life was full and rewarding. I loved being a Mom and a home maker. It was all I ever dreamed of when I was growing up. 

Now, my life is full of other things. Mr.Wonderful and I have a little house that we work on a lot. I landscaped our back yard. We have four kids between us and four beautiful Grandbuddies. It would seem that life would be easier at this slower pace. BUT for some reason, I am scattered. I sit down to have a little "Morning Devotions" and my mind wanders...'Wow, we better trim those palm trees..Oh dear, the hawk is hiding in that pine waiting to devour the little cardinals..Darn, I forgot to fill the bird feeder, come to think of it, is there water in the birdbath's ?' See what I mean ? My dear friend Diane, who teaches YOGA told me that this is called MONKEY MIND. In my devotional this morning it said that the many of the cares of life would seek to sway us from staying on the divine path. 

So, I am going to try a new discipline. I REFUSE TO BE DISTRACTED. I WILL REFUSE to be swayed by my new "estrogen free-thought filled mind". I WILL stay on track. I WILL focus on one thing at a time. I will NOT stray from this sentence in search of more coffee..wow a doughnut would be good with this, hmmm.. did we finish the cookies ?.. It MUST be possible. It has to be. I have never had "A.D.D." and I am sure not adopting it now. I have goals and purposes to fulfill in this chapter of my life. But doggone, if it's not one goofy thought it's another ! 

I would love to hear some feedback from you. How are you dealing with this new phase of life ? It seems that many of my friends are experiencing similar things. Hearing their stories is what got me off the secret nightmare that I might have some disease. I've heard some pretty funny stuff.  

WRITE TO ME. In the meantime, DON'T BE SWAYED by the distractions, unless, you are also having that vision of trimming the palm trees mid sentence.. join me out back, I'll be right there ! 

I really MUST do something about those bird feeders OR should I trim the palms ? I need to dead head the roses, Oh MAN I forgot to call Diane.....

HERE'S MY STORY OF BELINDA GALE

I have a precious friend, she has red hair. She calls herself a "shade babe" my daughter calls her "hell on heels". She taught my daughter to drive a stick shift. She packs a pistol. She's loaded with the tude, that's TOWANDATUDE of course.The little rhyme that follows i wrote for her wedding and read it for my "toast to the bride" a few years back.

In honor of our first trip together, backpacking in June 1974, I post it here today.

 HERE'S MY STORY OF BELINDA GALE

We were just eighteen, when our friendship first set sail

When we set off to conquer the Ocala Trail, 

So Belinda bought new shoes, a weakness I'd normally excuse

But she kept singing the blues with a whining refrain  

"I've got blisters, I'm in pain !"  

And now thirty plus years have passed

Today is your Wedding Day and all my children say, 

"Oh Aunt Belinda, Hooray! Hooray!" 

Many Band-aids later and miles of travel  

Years of Malls and countless phone calls

Eons of antiquing (and here i am public speaking & freaking)! 

YOU are my HERO

My original TOWANDA GIRL

Hell on heels  

Speed Demon at the wheel

A lady, A true friend. 

My dearest dear. 

You are a Fairy Princess on this your Wedding Day. 

I love you. (2005) 

Two crazy gals in 2009. 

WOW-EEE-WOW-WOW !

If you read about or listen to the stories of authors, you will hear them say that they write EVERY DAY. Each year I set out on a journey called "THE ARTISTS WAY". Part of this program involves something called "THE MORNING PAGES" (writing every morning). I faithfully start every January and by March I fizzle out again, pick it up lay it down, on and on...BUT this week, I've had super good excuses, I promise ! (Spoken in my early school days voice). NOW, GO GET YOUR COFFEE THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD, WITH PICTURES & EVERYTHING !!

 MONDAY-  Remember how I was at my Mom's last week ? Mr.Wonderful is many things, a dust patrol agent he is NOT. I grabbed my cleaning weapons and went to work. Good thing I did because wait 'til you see what happens !

TUESDAY - My youngest GRANDBUDDY "A" came to stay for a couple of days. We LOVE "Despicable Me" and part two opened Wednesday. YES, I MAKE UP WORDS. YES, IT MAKES LIFE MORE FUN. Try it with your kids, they'll love it.

 WEDNESDAY-  "A" and "Tu-tu" (that's me, it's a Hawaiian Grandmother) set out to be first in line for the ten a.m. premiere of DESPICABLE ME II. That night, Mr. Wonderful and Tu-tu take "A" to a local Food Truck & Fireworks event. While we're there it storms, Everyone is walking around with umbrella's. A person walks up & says something to me, I look under an umbrella and into the face of my thirty something youngest daughter, who lives in NEW YORK. WOW. She loves surprises, so does her boyfriend. (Good thing I cleaned the house, right ?) She came to town to surprise her DaddyO for his 60th Birthday on the 4th of July. Why not surprise everyone ? 

THURSDAY THE FOURTH OF JULY- Our whole family, past, present and future, gather at my oldest daughter's home for a Birthday and fireworks celebration. Just before we all head to the street at dusk... My younger daughter's boyfriend stands and says loudly, "I just want to say thank you all for...blurrrrr  ask if she will marry me"...(que the ring box)..fainting, sobbing, snot.."WHHHAAAATT????" say her siblings and various folks not "in the know". He asked me at the Food Truck thing & her DaddyO earlier in the day. I told Mr.Wonderful, who was camera ready, just in case. THEN, we all set off the best ever home fireworks display EVER. 

FRIDAY-  I start again, writing my "MORNING PAGES" .Sometimes you just have to let go of your goals and let life happen. Hey, look what happened, I got a story for today's blog. A new Chapter for my family story. I like that. I hope you liked it too. 

Mr Wonderful

IF you know me personally, you know that I call my husband MR WONDERFUL , and he calls me "MY BRIDE" . We met for the first time, when I was fourteen years old. It was June.He was my first boyfriend. He took me on my first "sort of" date. My Mom let me ride on his motorcycle to a church function. We broke up the following school year. After High School, I moved away, married and had children. He stayed local, married and had a child. FAST FORWARD thirty plus years.   We meet again, back in my home state and we got married. It's an incredible thing to finish your life with the person you first opened your heart to. It's a  privilege I don't take lightly.

I never forgot "My red haired boy" , the picture of him remained in my minds eye. Here is a little something I wrote a while back about that summer day, long ago.

Summer Sun, melting asphalt

Motorcycle buzzing, passenger laughing, 

Legs and arms flailing

A glimpse of orange (your hair) 

A beautiful smile, blue eyes shining

The sound of your laughter as you pass by... 

At that moment

You left an imprint on my heart

and my life

Leaving this photograph forever

in my minds eye

Then and now, YOU

My first love, the rest of my life LOVE.

Happy Anniversary Mr.Wonderful from your "Bride"

Mr Wonderful and his Bride.

Be a SHELTERING TREE.

I HAVE JUST RETURNED from my Mother's home. This is a trip my daughter and I make when my oldest Grandbuddy is at Church camp. My youngest Grandson goes along with us. Here's the scoop. I come from a long line of Southern Women. If you know anything about us, you know that our chief goal in life is to bamboozle you with our hospitality. Saying that, I have spent the last five days being fed every favorite food in my vocabulary, my clothes ironed, and just plain ole' bein' "LOVED ON ". That last run on sentence was spoken in the regional vernacular. 

It felt good. It felt great. It's relaxing. There's something about being at your Mother's house. A sort of safety from the world, a place where you can be SHELTERED.  I have tried to remember this feeling in my hospitality skills. I want my children and Grandbuddies to feel that feeling here when they come to stay. I try and follow certain routines for them. They have their own plates & special cup/glass. My sons favorite spoon from his childhood is still in the drawer. My Grandsons fight over who gets to use Uncle Bub's spoon! There's something so comforting about feeling like you are someone special at your family home.

Older southern people called their family home "The Home Place" I like that. I want to create that. I know the home / homes my children were raised in are long ago and far, far away. But our memories and treasures are still with us. My southern girl hospitality still abounds and I can be (like Momma Jane) a sheltering tree. We can lavish the hospitality on our friends and family. Meet them at the door with some ice tea (like my girlfriend Lynne). Give them the stories of their youth (like my gal Marci). Just "LOVE ON 'EM REAL GOOD". People need that. They need you, your brand of hospitality, YOUR SHELTERING TREE.

For Vicky, with love.

This is a letter i sent to a friend a few years ago. She was the most amazing example of TOWANDATUDE in a woman that i have ever known. So, in her honor i am re-sharing it today. We all know someone like this in our lives. Celebrate them while they are still with you. 

For Vicky, with love. 

Five girls. A shell rock road. Brazilian pepper trees and Maleluca's. Laughter, teasing, we are fifteen years old. She tells me a story. The story of the day i got us locked in the elevator on purpose at "Richard's Department Store". I don't remember this. It's selective memory due to shame.  The days were longer then it seems. So much time to do what we wanted. We didn't look too far into the future, not much further than  October & the Carnival that came to the J.M.Fields parking lot.

Now, she tells me a new story. That her illness has invaded a new location. She is angry and heartbroken. We all try and console her. No one really knows what to say. I want to say how i love her. How i have always admired her strength. Her ability to go the second mile. Does she know that we all say how loving and caring she is ? How proud we all were when she became a police officer ? The girl from West Gate who rose above. The first one to get a job, and sneak us all in to the movie theater. She would go home at the end of those days and babysit her younger siblings including a baby brother with Down Syndrome. All while the rest of us were still dreaming of boys... 

Oh this disease is a cruel, vicious thing. It seek to destroy. You take your victims by surprise. Healthy, vibrant ones, unsuspecting. You weren't able to take this one so easy. This one is a fighter, this one is a Towanda! girl. You met your match and five years later she still stands !

And we are standing with her. On that shell rock road. We are holding your hands. Your girls are surrounding you with love, with thoughts of admiration. We are sending strength. We are shouting out to you from wherever we are, "We love you and we are standing with you, You are not alone". 

I tell her a story. A story of balmy days, the breeze singing in the Australian Pines. White sandy roads beneath our bare feet. The sweet smell of the night blooming Jasmine. I can hear the sound in the distance of the Carnival...